Lead Me...

So I was listening to this song on the radio today as I drove to go to pay a bill. When I was listening to it I got to thinking about myself and how far away I have let myself get from the girl that I once was. There for a while I was really back on the "straight and narrow" but like the millions of other times, it feels, I have tried to get back the girl that I was when I was a child I end up falling short. Then I got to thinking about how most churches talk about the man, father, husband, whatever being the spiritual leader. I feel like my father was that. And I really think that when my father passed away there is this part of me that without him has a really hard time keeping up the person that I am supposed to be.

I really need help in this area, I want people to give me some advice. And I want to know if this is normal when the person who is the spiritual leader in the family dies if the other tend to have a hard time staying "in-line". Also if I am having such a hard time am I at the wrong church am I not following the things that I should be?